Are you creating a codependent habit?
Do you ever find yourself using the word should… either to yourself or to others?
It’s almost a dirty word in my opinion! Because it immediately shifts you out of reality (what is happening now) and either shifts you into the future or into the past. Both of which you can’t really do anything about. On top of that you’re putting expectation on someone else that they most likely don’t have any idea about let alone align with.
In my family I noticed…SHOULD can sometimes come out as “Well you’d think they’d …..know….do something…at least say thank you...when using this word that shows up as a disconnect between reality and what you expect (specifically from OTHER people). This is a negative pattern
Here’s a few examples of how that word can totally carry negativity:
- I should have xxx
- I should not have xxxx
- He shouldn’t have said that
- She should know better
- They shouldn’t have gone
- He shouldn’t spend money on that
- She should have been there
Basically all of these equate to : They should know what I need.
This comes to a basic codependent pattern. What is your mind doing to other people? Thinking someone should know what you need is basically putting the responsibility on someone else to make you happy. This will never work.
Only you have the ability to truly make yourself happy.
Learning how to shift out of this pattern can be really challenging, especially when you are used to it.
It’s how you were raised. We’ve always done it that way.
It’s just the way it is. Well that’s just the way he is, there’s nothing I can do about it.
Do any of those sound familiar?
IF SO It’s time for a change. It’s time to take your power back! It’s time to learn how to be responsible for your own emotional health and experience. You can do it. You just have to learn how.
Embodied Grace: A Woman’s Path to Empowerment can be your first step in learning to know what you need and how you can start taking control of your life and start creating a life you love. (Buy it now on amazon!)