The “Curse” of being Empathic
I recently “shared” a post on Facebook about “The Dark Side of Empathic People” and had a lot of messages in my inbox asking me to expand more and help explain, because it resonated with so many people! Honestly when I posted it, I thought “there’s a couple of good points in this, I’ll share it” and didn’t give it much more thought.
For the longest time I honestly thought being empathic was a curse. I’ve always been “Psychic” and “Empathic”. Being “Empathic” means you can literally feel how people are feeling. I don’t mean in the normal, “Oh I know how you feel” kind of way that people say when they are trying to console someone, but in an “Oh my God, this lady near me at Walmart is struggling with her husband and I feel like my heart is breaking and I want to cry or throw up” kind of way. It can get extremely overwhelming and exhausting…especially if you don’t know how to deal with it.
Some Empaths may not get the full on “struggling with the husband” part of the message BUT
They will feel the pain and heart ache and not even know exactly where it is coming from.
Some basic traits of being an “Empath” are
- People always pour their heart out to you and then are like, OMG I can’t believe I just told you that.
- Sarcasm can literally hurt. It can even be “all in good fun” but the truth about sarcasm is that it holds the energy of jadedness, bitterness, anger, frustration, resentment, etc. and Empaths can FEEL the vibrational energy.
- Being around negative people makes you EXHAUSTED.
- Sometimes you feel like you give and give and give and never get anything back.
- You tend to put yourself last.
- Sometimes you get cranky or hurt or emotional or tired but you don’t really know why.
- You’ve been told you’re too sensitive.
- You might have a weakened immune system or have been diagnosed with lupus, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia or something along those lines, OR you feel yucky but the doctors tell you everything is “normal.”
- You need or crave time alone.
This is just a basic idea of some things that can help you determine if you are an Empath. Again this goes beyond just being “attentive or empathic” to people. Being an Empath is part of your being. Something that is part of your daily life. Just like having blue eyes or brown hair. You can’t make it go away, and unfortunately, you may not understand it. But you can learn how to at least differentiate the difference between your energy/emotions and someone else’s and you can learn to protect your energy by setting intentional boundaries and then “bubbling yourself” against outside energy.
I honestly feel like the first step to dealing with being empathic is first understanding your own emotions and your own “self”. Who are you? What do you like? What is it you don’t like? What makes you happy? Honestly really getting clear on what YOU want and think because when you’re sucking in other peoples energy all the time, it can be hard to know what is your thoughts and feelings vs what you’ve sucked in from everyone around you. It’s easy to feel confused and frustrated until you start intentionally separating “mine and theirs.”
Once you know who you are and what you want in life, then you can set clear boundaries with people. You can then be empowered to make your own choices and you’ll start noticing people who “drag you down” and which ones “build you up.” Obviously, you’ll want to start spending less time with people who “suck your energy.” A quick tip in this phase of the process is asking “IS THIS MINE?” If you’re going along in the day just fine but all of the sudden you feel an emotional shift, ask yourself is this mine. You’ll feel or hear or know the answer. And then if it is NOT yours, you can simply release that energy.
Once you start to feel more empowered you can then figure out what to do with your “gift” and learn how to work with the energy. You can filter the energy around you and start to learn to “protect” your energy from the negative energy around you. That way you’ll still be able to feel it without literally taking the pain into your own body. For example, now I know that if I am going to go into a crowded place, store or event, I ask my Angel’s to help protect me from negative energy. I literally imagine myself in a bubble of pink light (Yes just like Bubble Boy the 2001 movie) and now when I’m in that space near the lady who’s in heartache, I feel like I’m walking into a wall. I know where my energy ends and hers begins. I can still notice that she is in heartache but I don’t have to personally feel the agony of it.
A part of this process is learning about self care.
If you are a healer of some kind, and energy worker, massage therapist, Reiki practitioner, counselor, life coach, (etc.), and working with people is part of your job, then you need to learn how take care of yourself by practicing regular self care PLUS regular meditation and getting regular energy work yourself.
I could go deeper into all of this, but at this point, it will have to be in another book! HAHA! I hope this helps! I have different ways you can work with me if you feel this is resonating with you. You can get FREE information by following me on Facebook or Youtube. You can join the Embodied Grace Community in Facebook! This is a group where you can post questions and get interaction with me!
And if you’d like to work with me in an exclusive group setting by joining the “Embodied Grace Essentials Membership.”
The video below is about Holiday stress but it really could be applied to every day life, because it’s about how you’re feeling, processing through emotions, guilt and anxiety, and being honest with yourself.